Alone in the dark
Void of fear but void of hope
The light escapes me
Reaching the bottom
Optimism still so far
I bury myself
eight times in one day
different ways it will happen
it all ends the same
Thursday, October 16, 2008
The death sentence of fear
I am stuck here
Afraid to move forward
Risking that I could fall back
Terrified to stay still
Growing roots in unfertile soil
Permanently cementing my faith of a premature death
An unhealthy existence
One of pure happenstance and void of purpose
Life giving potential wasted
Robbing the earth of nutrients
Producing no fruit
Unable to uproot and relocate
Without dying in the possess
The leaves all almost gone
Is this my death
Or is it just the seasons
This year I hope it’s my death
Because I cant take another wasted year
Scorched in the summer
Bitterly beaten in the winter
Embarrassed in the spring
And depressing in the fall
All because I got stuck here
Paralyzed by fear
Afraid to move forward
Risking that I could fall back
Terrified to stay still
Growing roots in unfertile soil
Permanently cementing my faith of a premature death
An unhealthy existence
One of pure happenstance and void of purpose
Life giving potential wasted
Robbing the earth of nutrients
Producing no fruit
Unable to uproot and relocate
Without dying in the possess
The leaves all almost gone
Is this my death
Or is it just the seasons
This year I hope it’s my death
Because I cant take another wasted year
Scorched in the summer
Bitterly beaten in the winter
Embarrassed in the spring
And depressing in the fall
All because I got stuck here
Paralyzed by fear
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
You can't possibly love me
You Cant possibly love me
Why would you do that to yourself
Don’t you see that I am not deserving
Incapable and unwilling to return the sentiment
Honest about my inability to commit
Incapability to focus
Inhibitions to decide
Decide on what I want need or deserve
Unclear about everything except that I am not who you should love
Just because I am a good person doesn’t mean I am good for you
Don’t you see?
I can’t go thru this again
Hurting you is like hurting myself
With the break of every heart by my hands, I suffer ten times fold
And I am not sure that I am strong enough to break your heart
But I fear the possibility is too great
I can’t take that chance
Don’t love me, because I am still serving my sentence for my past actions
And I don’t want to add on my hard time
My hearts a prison but you still want in
Don’t you see that you are trying to break into jail
I am just trying to protect you and protect me
This is not where you want to be
I am not what you see
The danger lies deeper but you are too blinded to see
I am throwing away the key and protecting this fort from all intruders
Because I know something that you don’t
You should not fall in love with me
Why would you do that to yourself
Don’t you see that I am not deserving
Incapable and unwilling to return the sentiment
Honest about my inability to commit
Incapability to focus
Inhibitions to decide
Decide on what I want need or deserve
Unclear about everything except that I am not who you should love
Just because I am a good person doesn’t mean I am good for you
Don’t you see?
I can’t go thru this again
Hurting you is like hurting myself
With the break of every heart by my hands, I suffer ten times fold
And I am not sure that I am strong enough to break your heart
But I fear the possibility is too great
I can’t take that chance
Don’t love me, because I am still serving my sentence for my past actions
And I don’t want to add on my hard time
My hearts a prison but you still want in
Don’t you see that you are trying to break into jail
I am just trying to protect you and protect me
This is not where you want to be
I am not what you see
The danger lies deeper but you are too blinded to see
I am throwing away the key and protecting this fort from all intruders
Because I know something that you don’t
You should not fall in love with me
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